BEING A BABY-GIRL IN A #GIRLBOSS SOCIETY

Throughout the period of lockdown, I felt like on top of facing a global pandemic…I was also living in a state of constant shock from the things that I would realize about myself that I must’ve subconsciously swept under the rug. I was a ridiculously hard worker. For several years my life would consist of 12-hour shifts, then going home at night to work on personal projects until the AM. Why? Because we all have the same 24 hours, 30 under 30, #girlboss, rise and grind…get my point? 

 I was able to re-discover and heal various parts of myself that I grew accustomed to due to previous trauma and living life at 100mph. I was a hard worker – often doing insane hours per week just to prove that I could not only hold down a job, but that I could also run a business and multiple “side-hussles”. I was resilient, strong and untouchable; and trust me it showed. Even to this day, I am still struggling to shake off the tough girl persona that so many people have associated with me. 

I didn’t enjoy working hard; in fact, I despised it. All I wanted to do was create visuals and learn more about the things I was passionate about. I didn’t want to rule the world anymore; and I no longer wanted to prove to everyone how much of an independent #girlboss I was and that I could survive in a man’s world.

I wanted nothing more than to be an independent boss babe, and after two turbulent relationships I found it far too easy to close myself off and pick up the #girlboss persona. 

By definition, a #girlboss means: “A confident, capable woman who pursues her own ambitions instead of working for others or otherwise settling in life” so does that mean being a baby-girl is the opposite to being a #girlboss? It’s quite the contrary.

There’s no set definition of the word “baby-girl” but I like to describe it as a way of life. I over romanticise every moment, because that’s where my inspiration draws from. I rest more than I work, because these responsibilities cannot come and kill me, and tomorrow is a new day. I feel and communicate my feelings way more than I ever have in my life. I no longer get anxious at the thought of not being where society says I should be at a certain age. I love loud and I laugh even louder. And to my surprise, once I shredded most of the traits I picked up while trying to be a #girlboss, that’s when my life began to feel fulfilled. 

Within this personal essay I will be writing about how the #girlboss culture influenced me to live life according to milestones, income and career check points and how changing my mindset, allowing myself the freedom to feel and altering my outlook on life has allowed me to live a life filled with emotions and meaning. I hope to encourage other women, who are often hardened by experiences and the need to be “successful”, that they can feel, are allowed to feel and can still reach their personal goals without it becoming a toxic obsession.